Of Memories Past

So today, I’ve had a lot on my mind. I’ve been thinking back on all my past decisions, and how I regret a few of those decisions. It just seems there have been some things in my past that the decision was made poorly, rather it was in haste, or in laziness, or of some temporary embarrassment, I’ll never know. Several decisions relied on those factors, and that is what makes me regret things.

Some of these things may have affected me in the long term, and I never realized it would at the time of the decision. I’m not going specifically name those instances, but I have a feeling that they have had a negative impact on my life.

Ok, I lied. One of them would be my decision to move back home after graduation. There were many factors involved that helped make that decision. I simply wasn’t making enough money at my job (see: restaurant) to continue living in Murray. That, coupled with the fact that I was unhappy there despite several wonderful friends that lived there at the time, and that I couldn’t find a job in my field (see: Computer Science) in that area. To put it in layman’s terms: I was miserable and broke.

So now, almost two years after graduation, I am still… miserable. Don’t get me wrong, I love Lexington and I love ALL of my friends, but something is missing. I feel like I don’t have a purpose in this life. It feels more like I’m drifting, becoming nothing, and that is the most irritating bit.

In any case, I’m writing the more personal blogs on my own website, and not my Foobar Studios site, as you may have noticed. Time for bed, because I’ve got to get up and troll around more for jobs.